*Note* This post has been revised and edited from its original state. Im dense and didn't take in to consideration that some of what I said could have been offensive. Also, I feel like my point was missed and the focus was put in something I had not intended it to be put on. So Im trying again.
"Who here has been personally victimized by Regina George?"
Im assuming everyone has seen the movie Mean Girls. If you haven't, Im sad for you. Some of the greatest lessons I've learned in life have come from this movie. (Maybe Im being sarcastic. Maybe Im not. Im not even sure I know.)
Since Im assuming everyone has seen the movie, Im going to talk to you like you have. If you haven't, go watch it. It will change your life. Or at least make your day a whole lot better.
So lets talk Regina. She's the "cool" girl. She is the rich, popular girl who rules the world and everyone in it... at least everyone within her reach, whether they like it or not. She dictates what everyone thinks about everyone else. Her "Burn Book" dictates the opinions of others. If she happens to write in this book that you are a "Fugly Slut" (please excuse my language), then that's what other people take you for. On the other hand, if she happens to think you are fit to be part of her little group, You. Are. In. Your "cool," even if you really aren't.
Im not actually delusional enough to think that this is how the real world works. But lets be honest, most people take what they hear as truth. They don't bother to ask questions to find out what is actually happening in your life. They form their opinions based on the little bits and pieces they hear (hopefully from you) and maybe even more so, from the opinions of others. And then it builds. It builds and builds until no one actually knows what the reality of a situation is, they just know what they have made up in their head (or what they have stolen from someone else's head)
Have you ever felt judged? More than likely, wrongfully judged? Like people just assume something about you that may not be totally accurate. Or maybe what they assume is correct but they haven't taken the time to understand your reasons or thoughts on the matter?
I'm pretty sure everyone has felt this way. I have endless amounts of time throughout my life but right now I'm (along with my family) experiencing a lot of this because of some of the "outside of the norm" choices we have made.
I've struggled endlessly with this because some of the people that are casting the judgment are the people that I've felt "should" be supportive and uplifting. Im trying to hold up walls in all directions. I knew there would be lots and lots of people that didn't agree with my/our choices and so I knew there would be some walls I would have to hold up but I didn't expect to run in to what we have run in to. The community we live in is predominantly Christian. Love your neighbor, right? Judge not that ye be not judged. Except... it seems completely the opposite. It seems that people are so convinced that their way is the right way that they can't even open their minds to something different.
I don't expect everyone to agree with everything I do. I don't agree with everything everyone else does either. But just because I don't agree with their choices doesn't mean Im going to try to squash them with the walls they are struggling to hold in place.
Here's the deal though.... I feel hypocritical calling these people out. I feel like if I call them out on their judgment of me, it's not allowing them to have their own opinions. I want to be allowed to have mine and so I have to allow others to have theirs. But can't we agree to disagree without being hurtful and mean about it? And so, I don't. I don't stand up for myself. I take their rude comments and the whispers behind my back. I feel angry and frustrated.
All this has brought me here, to creating this blog. I want to try something and Im hoping you will all help me out with it. I want this to be a safe place to vent. I want anyone and everyone to be able to come here and tells us about their anger and frustration or sorrow. I want you to tell us the things you don't dare tell the people in your "real" life because you are scared of what their reaction will be. You can be bold and let the world know who you are and what exactly you think. Or you can be anonymous and just get your frustrations out there to (hopefully) help others understand what their judgments can do to a person.
I believe in leading by example. And so, despite the fact that I am TERRIFIED, I am going to kick us off. Here is my vent/confession. Please don't be a Regina.
Few people know this. And when I say "few" I mean... I can count on one hand the number of people that know this about our family. We homeschool. *gasp!* Thats not even the worst part. We don't just homeschool like the "weird" "unsocialized" kids you knew growing up. We unschool. What this essentially means is that we do not give our kids a formal education in any sense. We don't have a curriculum, like NO CURRICULUM AT ALL. (is your head ready to explode now?) My husband and I are religious. I would say really religious (in comparison to most of the worlds standards) and we firmly believe that God put us all on this earth to learn, grow, develop and to govern our own choices. We believe that babies are born pre-programmed to advance and be excited about learning and discovering new things (AKA: learning. Yes.. I said it, kids are pre-programmed to be EXCITED about learning) However, we believe that conventional education (public school, private schools, basically any institution of education or even any homeschool program that dictates what a kids learns and when and how) kills this excitement. Learning becomes a chore and not a natural, exciting part of life. This is our belief. It doesn't have to be yours. And I fully recognize that public school is the perfect fit for some kids. Im never going to tell you that you are wrong for choosing to put your kids in public school. Its not my call. Your children were born to you for a reason and I have no intention of telling you that you are doing anything wrong.
I could go on and on and ON about this. But I won't. If you would like to know more about how we choose to educate our kids, Id love to expound, just ask. But that is NOT the point of this blog or this post. This is: No one knows this whole deal about us (well at least no one did until I posted this and even still, they only know in part) All they know is that we homeschool. And guess what? We have now been labeled. I expected some of this. Im even ok with it to a certain degree but Im only human and at times my feelings weaken and as my niece would say "my feelings get broke" and I want a place that I feel like I can say that. Where I can confess the things that I don't dare tell the general public for fear of being harshly judged. Where I can tell someone, or maybe just admit to myself that its hard to be criticized and judged for something I really believe in.
Lets stop being so critical. Lets be ok with being different. With choosing different paths. We weren't created to be clones of each other and to complete the same things in life. The world needs variation, diversity, thats what makes this life beautiful.
And so, here is my ending plea. Share with us. Tell us your story. Confess to us what you are scared to say out loud. I promise this will be a safe place for you to share whatever you need to. I promise support. Support from me and my hope is, from a community of people who want the same things you and I do, to be embraced for our differences, not judged and cast aside.
*If you are willing to share with us, you can email me at dontberegina@gmail.com. Everything will be kept anonymous unless you specify otherwise. Thanks in advance! Im looking forward to hearing from you!*
